Tomorrow is my blog's first birthday and yesterday I made the decision to shut it down.
Yesterday as I sat in my car with my nine year old screaming and yelling and shouting at me, I decided that maybe I am doing something wrong. Maybe it is time to simplify my life further, cut out all distractions and focus completely on my family.
Yesterday when my nine year old was shouting at me, a mother, father and a one and a half year old boy walked past my car. The father was pushing the pram and laughing, and the mother and son were pretending to be trains chugging down the hill. I sat in the car crying for my fighting nine year old and that time when she was chugging down the hill with me. It seems like forever ago and at the same time like five minutes ago.
Yesterday when my six year old was being the loveliest, happiest most divine thing ever. Does the fact that she thrives on being the good girl when her sister is being awful mean that she isn't getting enough from me the rest of the time?
And my two and a half year old. A few days ago she told me to get off my blog and come and play blocks with her. Really!
Yesterday I got a few amazing, amazing comments on my blog. I got an email thanking me for my blog and listing all the reasons why she loves it. I got a parcel in the mail from Anna with the ball of wool that I needed to complete my wrap. And then I realised that I have worn that wrap for days and days now and I never would have made it if I hadn't been part of the blogging community in the first place. And it made me think of the friendships, some of them online and some of them now in real life, I am thrilled with these new and very special connections. And the suggestions, recipes, inspiration, swaps, ideas, tutorials, discussions, encouragement...where would I be without them?
Content is never a problem. My blog is like a journal of the things I am making and there is never a shortage of projects around here. The post itself is quick and often writes itself once I have uploaded the photos. I have just been finding that I often don't have the time to respond to all the comments or to visit all the spaces of those that visit me. I read and love getting every single comment but I feel guilty.
Does this happen to you? Do you respond/visit everyone who visits you? Do you comment on every blog you read? Do you feel rude if you don't? Some days do you feel like you don't feel like switching the computer on at all?
Today I have decided that I am a much better person for keeping my blog. I am going to keep writing my blog.
Without the guilt, I love it. And I have to believe that I will be a better Mother/Wife/Person if I have a place to express myself and interact with others with similar interests. I think I just have to balance my time and to not feel guilty when I can't always reply/comment back.
I LOVE birthdays and parties and if my blog is going to continue, then it is going to have one but it has to be the right time, which means not right now.
So if its OK with you, I am going to celebrate my one year, one month and one day of blogging next month instead. Stay tuned for some giveaways, some more questions, some cupcakes and some fun and games. In the meantime I'm off to punch down my bread, play dolls houses with Pepper and make a start on a range of dresses for a new shop opening soon in Kynton. Oh and then I will make some muffins to take to the skate park this afternoon for scooternoon.
Have fun out there and thanks.