I've cried oh so many tears.
Nothing big or major or terrible happened. It was just a feeling of rawness. Like everything touched me too deeply. The little stuff that usually bounces off, didn't. I think I might have cried as much as my pre-teen. It was all a bit too much.
I cried when he tripped over the chook fence and fell and then limped. I cried when a gorgeous friend sent me a pile of books in the mail. I cried when I read the intro in one of those books to my grandmother's chocolate cake. I cried because I miss my grandmother so deeply some times. I cried because my smalls didn't let me talk to the painter. I cried when my farmer boy told me he wouldn't leave until tomorrow. I cried at a couple of gorgeous blog comments. I cried when the dog poo got smeared on the car seat. And I cried when one of his mentors told him he is doing a great job. He is.
I have no idea what it's all about. I do know that I feel exhausted and overemotional.
So late this afternoon Miss Pepper and I made a cake. We used Claudia Roden's chocolate almond cake recipe from this book. I would have liked to bake my grandmother's cake but we didn't have any buttermilk.
I don't have a problem with being over emotional from time to time. It's cleansing even. But I really wanted to mark the end of this crying weekend. I wanted to finish it off sweetly so I could move forward into the new week happily.
This is going to be a great week. Farmer Bren has his first consulting job, our house is turning white on the inside, there is going to be a mega declutter, the countdown to the winter holidays is on and I have a great frock to wear to a fabulous fortieth. It's going to be good.
And the cake was so good too. It took ages to get the temperature right in the oven. It was almost impossible to get it out of the tin (why didn't I use a springform??) But the girls loved it. Even the non cake eating one. And we smiled as we ate it and talked about our best moments of our day.
Alright new week, I'm ready for you.
Let's have a super sweet one, ok.