Friday, August 23, 2013

I'm running....x

I am running.

Not away, or from, or really to anything, but running all the same.

My feet hit the black rubber, my arms swing by my sides. One holds my phone which is connected to my earphones and my ears. I try my hardest not to look at my phone, not to think about the timer that tells me how much longer to go. 

I just want to run. To get lost in the run.

My earphones play loud music that drowns out my thoughts. JT and Katie and Pink and Gaga, when I run I listen to music that I would never listen to in my normal life. The beat pushes me forwards, the words fill my brain, the melodies keep me going.

I watch as the rain pelts against the windows. The yellow wattles sway violently from side to side. And I run. It is arctic cold out there but in here I feel hot. Hot enough to take off my hoodie, one sleeve at a time, passing my phone from hand to hand. Trying not to overbalance, my fear is falling off.

Now I'm wearing a singlet and a skirt, and runners. Somewhere I have an expensive pair of running socks that I was talked into buying once upon a time. I sometimes think about purchasing proper running gear, but do I really need to look the part in my lounge room? Would it make me run faster? Feel fitter? Maybe if I keep this up for a while longer I'll think about it again. I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to wear lycra though.

Maybe in summer when I run outside. If I run outside. I'm not certain I could handle the distractions and the needing to be alert at all times. I think my running is about tuning out.

I've been running now for six weeks.

I can feel the difference.

I have more energy. My clothes fit me better. I am more even tempered and feel like I am coping with life in a happier way. I sleep well at night. I don't own scales so I don't know what they would say if I stood on them. And I am fitter. I always thought farm fitness was enough, but now I can see and feel that it's a different fitness.

This fitness had me chasing and catching 50 escaped chooks yesterday without even breaking a sweat.

I'm not saying that after six weeks on the treadmill I'm ready to add 'runner' into my profile, but I am starting to understand why people do.

And I'm starting to understand that endorphin thing.

I had always thought the endorphins kicked in when you had been exercising for a while, but now I feel myself getting happy just thinking about it. When I put on my sports bra and singlet under my clothes on a running morning, as I'm tying my laces, choosing the music tracks, turning the machine on.

It's hard and part of me dreads it, but part of me loves it too.

I run.

I've built up fitness so I don't really get out of breath so much, but sometimes I hurt. Knees or ankles or calves. Sometimes I try to block it out. Sometimes I try to focus in on the pain. Zero right in on it. But I always keep running.

I never for a second think that I can't do it. I don't have to do it and no one would ever know or care if I didn't. But I do it. For me.

Run. run. run...

And then afterwards I stretch. And I feel good about myself. And a bit proud and healthy. And I find that running is making me eat better and drink more water too. And it's making Indi run.

I hope I can keep it up. Or get back to it if I don't.

It's so good for me.

Exhale.

The pictures have nothing to do with the words. Obviously.

The squares are for my new blanket project.

The winners of The Starting School books are; Annshar, Sarah and Sampling. Yay!


So tell me peeps, are you an exerciser?
Do you get what I'm saying?
Do you run, swim, walk, yoga, pilates...........??
Or are you laughing a little? Don't worry, the me of a year ago is laughing too.

Whatever the weather, I hope your weekend is wonderful.

Big love

xx

34 comments:

  1. Awesome stuff Kate, good for you! I am not into running but I do love a good long walk when I can organise it around my crew! Your squares are beautiful. Have a lovely weekend x

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  2. Hola! Te entiendo perfectamente, yo necesito el ejercicio , me gusta caminar durante horas por parajes de naturaleza, me gusta la bicicleta, me gusta el yoga, el ejercicio fisico me conecta con mi cuerpo y me calma la mente, es algo cotidiano como el comer y el dormir y me hace sentir bien . Cariñosos saludos desde España.

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    1. Thanks google translate and thank you lovely Karmen. xx

      Hello! I understand perfectly, I need the exercise, I like to walk for hours through places of nature, I like the bike, I like yoga, physical exercise connects me with my body and calms the mind, is an everyday thing like eating and sleep and makes me feel good. Loving greetings from Spain.

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  3. Nup! I don't run...but I admire the fact that you do!

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  4. That sounds fantastic. Your description makes me want to run. But I have a gammy leg at the moment though. I still walk which I enjoy, just slowly. I like swimming but only seem to do it in the winter these days as the swimbaths move outside in the summer which I don't seem to do. Well done you!

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  5. Im walking a lot, miles, and relate - you look forward to the next one and get a definite buzz.

    Good for you.

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  6. Kate, I have CFS and exercising regimes don't quite agree with me. Recently I discovered yoga and I love it. I should have taken it up ages ago.
    I adore your squares, by the way.

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  7. I run on and off, at the moment on - and I love so much about it like falling asleep easily at night, clearer skin, having a shower afterwards and feeling great. Totally recommend getting an armband for your phone :)

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  8. I want to be a runner. But I'm a lazy butt, wonky back lady and it seems to make more sense to be a walker and a biker and a swimmer and a yoga/pilates person instead. All of which I'm not. But it's only going to get hotter, I'm only going to get bigger and I feel so good when I do something - anything! So tomorrow I'm off to pregnancy yoga and, when I kick this cold for good, I'll hopefully walk or hop on my bike or go for a swim. Maybe even some aqua with the nannas when it gets just a little warmer. And maybe, just maybe, one day I'll finally do the couch to 5k and I'll run again!

    The squares are looking gorgeous, such lovely pictures of them.

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  9. I hate running but my distinct lack of exercise lately has had me checking out ebay for treadmills. Maybe an exercise bike would be the go, but I need to do SOMETHING and do it soon! What I really want is an exercise class which is child friendly, where you don't have to pay through the nose to have children play while you exercise.
    xXx Helen

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  10. Good afternoon from France Kate!

    I completely understand you. Four months ago I started exercising around three times a week (everyday during these wonderful summer Holiday) opting either for 30 minutes straight swimming or an hour of cycling. I haven't really lost weight but I feel fabulous: more relaxed, vibrant and ... bouncy. I get the addiction now. It's changed my life in a way which is both subtle and striking.

    Happy running.

    Stephanie

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  11. I am desperate to rekick the running. I started late in life, in my mid-30s and have been running about four years now but I've barely run all winter and I am desperate to get back to it. This weekend, it's my No.1 goal.

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  12. Oh, I get it. I so get it! I don't "run" (can't...!) but I go to the gym and do the treadmill and eliptical machine, and a weights class twice a week. i'm about to add zumba one night a week if I can work up enough bravery. I don't do it because I enjoy it, although I'm starting to, but because it makes me feel better, healthier, stronger, calmer. Especially calmer! On a day I miss the gym, I feel tensed up and crabbier.
    I love all of your knitted squares.

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  13. I feel like I've had a workout just reading your post...does that count Kate? Lol! Some fatigue issues here too so it all just sounds super exhausting to me. But well done. You should be very proud of yourself. I think I'll just go knit instead!

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  14. Kate that's fantastic! Sounds like you are really enjoying it too. I started running earlier this year. I absolutely love it. It's good for all the reasons you mentioned. I never imagined I could run anywhere. I run outdoors and I change my route often. When I ran 15km I treated myself to new runners. I have some super dooper socks too and I do wear lycra. I don't care about my wobbly bum because I can't see it. I seriously recommend lycra though...I feel fitter just wearing it ;) just kidding.

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  15. Now I'm hearing the song "Against the wind"!
    I used to run a bit, 10 km road races and such, but that's a bit in the past. Now I discovered...Pole Conditioning. A great cardio and upper body workout, I love every single session. And it's helping to develop stronger crochet arms! Will do a post it soon ;-)

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  16. I've just started zumba after 7 years of doing nothing!

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  17. I so get it! I used to run run run & it always made my body & mind feel better. It's not my option right now to run but I do dream about it:)

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  18. I walk - I try to walk 4-5km two- three times a week. I find that I need to get dressed in my exercise clothes when I get up, so that it actually happens though. Love my Monday morning walk best of all after the kids have gone to school. I have missed it this week, with both kids being sick. Next week is a new week though.

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  19. I run. I need to. No music, no phone, just the sound of my feet on the pavement, the waves crashing on the shoreline and my laboured breathing. It is the perfect thinking time. Some days it is hard to work up the motivation to get out the door, and somedays I don't make it. I always regret those days but it usually pushes me out the door the next day. Running is my happy medium and Hockey, well that keeps my competitiveness in check 1 day a week!

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  20. I gave up smoking 16 months ago and the day I stopped I started walking. I walked and walked and walked. I got high on the endorphins. I posted a daily walk photo to IG. I talked about walking to everyone and all I thought about was walking. LOVED IT! Then I had a damn heart attack so I am starting from the beginning all over again. I can't wait until I can do my 5 ks every day again. Enjoy your runs and the free space in your head it is so worthwhile xxxx

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  21. I'm so not an excerciser, I'd like to be I think, just to feel better in myself and to clear my head. Running kills me, but yet again, you're inspiring me..maybe I'll try and run...loving your squares so much! x

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  22. SO inspiring. Perhaps I shouldn't have given up after that last run. Tomorrow night maybe?!

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  23. Hooorah for running! Im a runner too. Its great for getting the stress out and for solving pressing world issues.
    Just between you and me, I have a play list on my ipod that I would be ashamed to show anyone, but its ace to run to.
    There is a fun run coming up in Avoca on the 16th November. It finishes at a winery which is a very civilized way to finish a run. Besides you need to hydrate after exercise... you should check it out :)

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  24. I wish I was runner. Wish I had the energy, the drive, the time to exercise. One day I will again but I loved reading about you. Good on you :)

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  25. oh how your words make me miss it. i was a runner, was a triathlete for years. then came sports injuries, an unfortunate encounter with a stingray and my ankle, and an undiagnosed illness that was picked up in africa, have all made me into a walker instead. it is so not the same, but i do feel grateful to be able to do that. i used to listen to music too that i'd never listen to anywhere else. enjoy your runs!
    your blanket looks awesome!

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  26. Run Kate run! That sounds like it's making a big difference! Go you!

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  27. Oooh! Thank you! What a wonderful thing! My first blog win! What a lovely book. Thank you again. Girls will love it.

    Running? No? Good exercise gear? Yes please! And (sadly) I'll go anywhere in it! So comfy. But yoga? Yes please! All same feelings though, just a different medium.

    And... love the squares x

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  28. I'm back walking, downloaded the c25k app, now I need to start it! You have reminded me why I need to, I feel much better and I know I am much nicer when I do some exercise.

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  29. I run! I know exactly what you are talking about! I just ran a 12km race here in perth and besides being really sore - I feel great!! Running is as much for the mind as it is my body!! Love love your posts!!! You inspire :-)

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  30. Good on you!! I've never been one for sport, but a few years ago, for medical reasons, I started at a private gym - the sort where you get individual attention and do something different each session -and I love it!! So I get the looking forward to each session, the getting up in the cold and dark, the sweating it out at the session, and the feeling of fitness and strength after......excellent!!

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  31. Kate, I have been reading your blog for an age, but I never comment (sorry) but now I just can't resist, because I run too, and I totally get what you say about feeling good, proud, healthy, about it helping with being calm, coping. I have been running for about 2 years now and I LOVE it. I also listen to Pink when I run, as well as lots of other upbeat tunes that help me keep putting one foot in front of the other. I hope you keep it up. :-)

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  32. I've started running bit by bit starting this year. I never thought I'd like it, but I do. So I totally understand what you are saying. Keep going! Like a previous commenter said, get an armband for your phone.

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  33. How good is running?! Running is my happy place. I can switch off and just go. It's so flexible and freeing. If I don't run, I find my emotions are up and down and uncontrollable. It's like a therapy sesh and it's SO GOOD ;)

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Thanks so much for stopping by...

I do read every single comment you leave and appreciate it very much, but I should let you know that I can be a wee bit on the useless side when replying to comments, that's just me, everyday life sometimes gets in the way....so I'll apologise now, just in case.

Kate XX

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