And while there isn't that, there is a whole lot of other stuff. Drama stuff. You know all that stuff that happens when you are living through big life events? New babies, death, trauma, new love, weddings, surgery...big life stuff.
It's like you are living inside a bubble and nothing else matters. You know that life is going on around you but you don't care, it doesn't interest you, there's no more room in your head to deal with it.
The people in the bubble with you are living the highs and lows too. They get it. But for everyone else it's difficult. It's like its ok when they are talking about your stuff, but then when they start telling you about their cousin's new job or their great theatre tickets, your eyes glaze over. It's like there's no room left for other stuff.
It's almost like we should have a sign on us that reads: Our Dad is recovering from open heart surgery. Please be nice to us. Please excuse us.
One morning we went to visit my Dad in intensive care and he was so happy to be on the other side of the surgery. He was chatty and ready for rehab and the rest of his life. He asked me to knit his nurse's three year old son a jumper and bring it in the next day!
We practically skipped all the way home. We visited a department store on the way and bought handbags for us and fancy chocolates to thank the ICU staff.
Another visit he was exhausted, he couldn't breathe deeply and could barely speak to us. At home we discussed him and we cried. We went to an action movie to take our minds off it.
Before hand we had discussed how he would walk on Wednesday and he did. He moved downstairs to the ward, he sat in a chair by his window and looked out over autumnal Melbourne, at an oval he used to jog around when he was a med student.
We were sure he was home free. His quadruple bypass was in the past and we could talk about which day he would be released. We went out and had a delicious dinner and fancy cocktails. I slept for about six hours despite the crazy inner city noises.
And then this morning we learned that his heart beat had shot right up over night and unable to control it with medication, they had shifted him back to the ICU.
He's in the best place he could possibly be. He knows we all adore him.
Two steps forward, one step back.
PS. Abby we miss you like crazy. In June we'll take these pics again with you in them.
PPS. If you haven't entered my giveaway, you totally should. Who doesn't need an I love craft t in their life? Leave a comment on this post.
PPPS. You'll have to excuse any misplaced commas or typos for the next little while, my Dad is my editor.
PPPPS. I've said it before and I'll say it again, THANK YOU for your comments, calls, emails, texts and love. Trust me, its making this so much easier for all of us.
PPPPPS. Thanks for returning my post blogger. I am most disappointed you didn't bring back the comments too.