Monday, April 30, 2012

Blue (the scarf).

I've started this week off with such a strange feeling.
A bit of a sad feeling.
Like things are changing.
Like time is passing by.
It's making me feel a bit panicky.
A bit short of breath.
A bit anxious to savour each second.
To live it.
To realise it and remember it.
To etch bits of it in my mind, on my skin, so I can hang on to this moment forever.

I am reminding myself to stay calm.
To quiet the butterflies.
To breathe.
That in our now, we are exactly where we want to be.
That we are making lots of decisions and living well.
That whatever is to come, will be what it will be.
That notes about Miss Pepper starting school next year and Indi's high school orientation don't have to overwhelm, but can be positive and exciting.
That a carpet of fallen leaves means winter is approaching, but so are quiet times on the farm.
That the end of a knitting project I have loved means the beginning of something new and a cozy Indi.
That no matter how I long for time to slow down or stop for a while, it wont, so I may as well get on with enjoying it.

That what I probably need now more than anything else, is to grab my big girl straight home from school and to go for a fast walk around the big block. To feed my family soup for dinner. To squeeze them all as hard as they'll let me. To cast on something new. And to breath it all in.
It's all good.

I wish you a peaceful, wonderful week my friends.

xx

PS. Details for Blue the scarf are Raveled here.
PPS. I bought the beautiful blue wool from Kate's One Fat Slug Etsy shop.

54 comments:

  1. I can totally relate to this Kate. I spent about the whole year last year longing for it all to slow down, not wanting my baby to grow up & be a school kid. Next year I imagine I'll be just the same again as we prepare for our big boy to go to high school. Argh, time does go by way too fast. Enjoy the now, for sure..x

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  2. This is such perfect timing for me ... I too need to slow, breathe, take time, just be and enjoy ... thank you Kate for taking the thoughts in my head and writing them so perfectly. I have just printed this post out and put it up next to my bed - so its what I look at when I go to sleep tonight and remember when I wake tomo x

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  3. Indi's scarf looks warm and comforting. Color reminds me of the Pacific Ocean in Autumn.

    Decades fly tho days can seem endless.

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  4. Time does pass us by quickly, sometimes too quickly to grasp it. Did you know bubba is 16mths old now, he's just officially moved up to a size 1 & I had to buy him some clothes the other day & realised that I had to go to the boys section of the shop, not the babies section.... I did my best to hold back tears whilst in public.. (a few fell out tho)

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  5. We've had those times - the ones where all four children pass major milestones - wanting to celebrate our lives moving on while wanting to stop it from doing so, all at the same time. Wrapping your family in woolly loveliness like that blue scarf seems a jolly good way to cushion them when it's all change. But don't forget to cosset yourself too Kate x

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  6. urgh i know !!!
    It all goes too fast sometimes doesn't it?
    We have an E who might be going off to high school next year -
    at Year 7! (she's not 11 yet) And probably another new school for the
    little one too.

    I hope you feel more settled as the week goes on,
    huge hugs to you guys,XX.

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  7. i love how you are so intentional and recognise the need to grab daughters and go walking :)
    have a fabulous week Kate
    ~dee. x

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  8. your scarf is gorgeous... really pretty

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  9. I think I've had this feeling on and off since they were tiny babies!
    There's good ahead, I know - we're there, but soak this time in anyway :-)
    I just wish there was some way of bottling it!
    xxx

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  10. Ah, Kate.
    And your scarf turned out beautiful.

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  11. I was never prepared for how being a parent can make you so scared, anxious, sad, excited and so happy all at the same time. Love the scarf.

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  12. That scarf is so beautiful! I totally understand how you feel Kate - I'm forever trying to hold my girls to me and let them grow and explore at the same time. My big girl is 15 now and I'm treasuring every day. Kx

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  13. When my children were in the pram, old ladies would make a fuss of them and then tell me my babies would be grown up before I knew it. I thought they were bonkers but of course they turned out to be completely right. We just have to cherish every moment and understand that each stage of life brings different rewards, which it seems you’re doing. Have fun.

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  14. I go through periods like that as well. Everything is going fast, unexpected things in life becomes overwhelming. It's always such a welcome feeling when things settle down again. During these times I tend to spend even more time in the garden. It rejuvenates my soul.

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  15. My Red Headed Hurricane lost his first tooth this week, I so get it. The adventure sometimes gets a little emotional but I know that you are so good at seeing all the amazing things and going with it. Next chapter! I have to tell you that I LOVE your beautiful blue scarf.

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  16. Such a cute scarf and I love the dress you made. Such a wierd thought that as your leaves are falling, ours are slowly unfurling in whatever sunshine comes our way. In rather short supply at the moment with endless days of rain and iron clad clouds. A bit of blue today, but oh so cold. Dev x

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  17. The scarf is beautiful. I know exactly how you feel - my eldest hits double numbers this year and I have the primary school enrollment for my small girl here now. Time really does fly by.

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  18. Well we all grow up. WE used to be those babies in the prams and soon WE will be the old ladies peering in. Hopefully by then the old will be spoken of with more respect than we currently give them. Time moves on but just as it moves away from the good times, it moves towards more of them. The good memories are for keeping and the bad ones for letting go. Our children are not just children but people. We shouldn't be having babies without realising that they move on and forward in life. Parenting is needed throughout all stages in life. Sadly many are only interested in the young and once we have fledged we are on our own. The truth is that parenting is for always and for keeps and our children are their spirits and not their ages. A child is for loving unconditionally not because of what cute stage they are at. It is when they are older that they need you more yet are able to tell you that less. We never stop being parents but we should not confine our children always to being youthful in order to satisfy our own need to nuture. Growns ups need nuturing too. There is always a place as a mother. To need to be sad because your children grow. That is what we should want them to do. They will do it anyway.

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  19. beautiful post Kate, beautiful scarf xo

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  20. Squeeze hard Kate...& never let go. xxx

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  21. Dear Anonymous,
    I was going to write a long diatribe about how you've missed the point of Kate's post. You haven't seen that Kate is taking stock, enjoying all that she has.
    I just can't be bothered to explain it to you because you won't get so...

    Piss Off.

    Abbe
    Ps. Kate, If I could press pause, I would, just to soak it all in a little more.

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  22. Such a lovely post! Thanks for the tip on the etsy store, too. I've been on the lookout for Aussie indie dyers, and One Fat Slug is awesome.

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  23. Beautiful words.
    I have one beginning high school next year and one starting school and one starting kinder, ahhhh I am out of breath. I know how you feel, I don't even know which high school she is going to or whether we'll be still living here or in the country somewhere. My head hurts to think of it all, but like you it'll all be good. We Mums worry ourselves to much I reakon :) Ines

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  24. Beautiful post as usual, Miss Kate. And divine scarf!

    I think it's appropriate to be a little sad at the end of each stage of your children's lives, as well as celebrating the milestones of their growth and development. It's a form of homage to them that you don't just toss their childhood away like so much bathwater after the baby has left the tub. Your blog captures this so perfectly. Your girls will adore to read back over these pages in years to come, to see how loved and cherished they were.

    It seems such a short time ago that I experienced that same mixture of feelings watching my children growing up. Wanting to keep them young and close forever, but excited too for the next big adventure.

    And the truth is that however much I relished their childhoods and never wanted those times to end, this time is better. To have the privilege of being part of the lives of your adult children. To watch them become far better people than you ever dared hope.

    Wow. Nothing beats that.

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  25. WriterBee, will you be my Mummy?
    You did so good with Miss Kate, so, so good.
    I'm a lucky duck that gets to call her friend (I also called her ordinary once and yet she still likes me...)
    Love her.
    Ab

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  26. I can totally relate too Kate.
    It seems that our children's early years are just a fleeting moment, and I just want to jump on it and hold it there for a bit longer.
    I keep looking at my children and thinking, how did we get here so fast?
    This weekend we attended a College info day for my eldest (for 2014) and found out we also need to enrol our son for 2015 (he's 8!!!).
    All I want now is to find our 'place' and settle down to enjoy every. single. minute.
    Love the scarf such a beautiful colour!

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  27. Yep.
    My son started high school this year and it was hard to take.
    He's changing so much.
    He's already talking about wanting a job!
    I'm so scared I'll wake up one day and he'll be an adult and moving out :(
    It all happens way too fast.

    But you're right, we should take it all in, enjoy the now.
    It's just hard sometimes.

    Rach x

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  28. Lovely girl you are Foxy. With magnif children. I love that WriterBee lady too. Big love xx

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  29. A perfect reminder for me right now. Lovely post.

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  30. Isnt it strange that when we ourselves are children time seems to be so slow and engaging, and yet now we have children ourselves it seems to fly by so fast. Now I know why my grandparents used to always want to visit with us because we were growing up so quickly in front of their eyes. Enjoy every minute Kate as I am sure you will. Cuddles are great and I still get them from my 18 yr old which makes me smile.

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  31. I do know that feeling. I think it is hard to cultivate awareness in our days without becoming acutely aware of how quickly those moments pass! Your scarf is gorgeous, beautiful work, beautiful colour.

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  32. Lovely scarf Kate. I know the feelings you describe so well. Time is passing... and it can be a good thing.

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  33. I love the scarf, the blue of it, the beautiful shots of it and the gorgeous fallen leaves. I totally feel you about time slipping by and we all need a reminder to stop, breathe and hug! Btw, I listened to the Princess Bitchface book on audible after you mentioned it in a post. Now that made me stop and think. With 2 preteens, I needed that.

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  34. A beautiful, complicated, delicate, ethereal scarf a little like the maker (maybe not the complicated or maybe just a wee bit) :)
    Sent with xx

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  35. I have been getting these feelings right throughout my motherhood, I guess we just need to embrace each day even the crappy ones...lovely scarf too xx

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  36. So beautifully said, and i love the scarf.

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  37. Thank you Kate - I love the way you've expressed these feelings, I love your mum's response, and I loved reading all the other responses too - you bring together such a wonderful community here... I also love that scarf!

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  38. I hope it is a peaceful week for you. A week to hold on to when things aren't so smooth.

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  39. Firstly - beautiful scarf - amazing. Bravo you.

    Secondly, parenting is SO bittersweet. And I too find myself grasping to those moments, and feeling that panic - did I observe that time enough? Did I pay attention? Why didn't I savour those moments more? I have such regret about things. I beat myself up about them. I am anxious too, if it makes you feel any better.

    And I just love how you summed this feeling up so perfectly. It is bittersweet. There is joy, and yet there is sadness. It's a constant state of flux.

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  40. The scarf is divine Kate. Hold those girls tight, give them each a squish, steal a kiss and love them just a little bit more.
    Kids grow up way to fast these days. Yu are doing a fab job at keeping them grounded.

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  41. Sometimes I want them to grow faster and other times I wish they would just stand still at this age! Love your knitting!

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Thanks so much for stopping by...

I do read every single comment you leave and appreciate it very much, but I should let you know that I can be a wee bit on the useless side when replying to comments, that's just me, everyday life sometimes gets in the way....so I'll apologise now, just in case.

Kate XX

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