Friday, October 15, 2010

Me time.

gif animator

Crappy old day.

Some hours that were meant to be dedicated Kate time (no Mothering or housework allowed), were swallowed up by hours with no power due to flooding. With no sewing machine or over locker or music the only thing left to do was tidy up which I refused to do. So I tried to run away. Only I came back because I had no idea where to run to and was irritated with op shops and driving.

The last three times I tried to organise some time to myself, something more important has come up and stolen it. A sick kid, a farm emergency, an urgent trip to Melbourne. This blackout makes four.

Now I'm home and its warm and I am lucky and we are going to make some changes. After 10 years of being a mother its time for some designated Kate time every single week.

I am often told that I achieve a lot but its all in stolen moments here and there while I am waiting for a kid on the toilet or while listening to a reader being read.

I think I need Kate time to be able to follow a thought through. To trace, cut out, over lock and then sew together a garment. All in one go.

I know that it is all part of being in a family. That being a Mother and wife means there is always someone who needs me. But I also know that I will be a better Mum, wife, person and friend if I put myself first sometimes too.

I hope to share my solutions and resolutions with you soon.

So what about you? Do you have regular, set aside time for your own needs? I would love to know.

And have a happy weekend.

Some extra bits:
Thanks so much Nic for the gorgeous post.
More animations here.
There are 2,455 emails in my inbox right now. That's 175 less than yesterday.

47 comments:

  1. I rarely have time for me as we have no family here so have to snatch it at night really. I hesitate to ask friends as most of them have lots on their plate and full houses of people too. We just cope :-) I love your animation!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kate, a topic dear to my heart. I have gone far too long with no far too little 'me' time and let me tell you - it's not good for or your family. I'm trying to make changes in this area, but as you mentioned, it is extremely difficult. Me time always seemed at the bottom of the list as list as there are always others that need me more urgently, it just didn't happen. It is now at the top of the list! My husband works such mad hours at the moment that he is rarely around, so I am finding it particularly hard, but things will change as of feb.....we've just got to get to feb.... one day at a time! Very keen on reading some of your solutions and resolutions.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I just read over my comment and the spelling is appalling, please excuse - on my iphone while one eye watches kids in bath and the other hand wipes down the bathroom bench..... ;) did i mention i need some me time.....?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I totally agree that alone time, time to finish a thought or complete a task is really, really essential. Especially for mothers.

    I do get that time, there's one day most weeks when the kids are at school but I don't have Uni until later. It's great, but often swallowed up by study. ;)

    It's very hard to juggle everything, but at least you know what you want/need...

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have hardly any time for myself but lucky I work from home half time or I think I would go mad.. Lots of cutting out goes on while dinner is cooking and I do go off to the gym before the kids get up or lunchtimes. Pretty much all the rest of the time someone else is with me. Thank goodness for the odd crafty weekend away

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ahaha, I just sent you an email about the emails... ;)

    Hooray for sorting out some "you" time, you know I am already one of those peeps that is in awe of all that you get done already, I have a feeling I am going to be downright stunned in the near future...!

    Like you, any "me" time that is scheduled (..and by 'scheduled' I mean I've said to The Boy "You're watching Punk for 2 hours while I sew/paint/sleep...), something comes up. Punk doesn't want to hang out with Daddy. Daddy has to work. Daddy doesn't watch Punk terribly well & there is a beetroot incident. That sort of thing. Looking forward to how you manage to find that elusive time.

    As for power-outages, we've one on the cards for next Wednesday between 9-3. What am I supposed to do with no internet? No music? No sewing maching? No ABC kids? No frikkin STOVE?!

    Pfft.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh, its hard Kate. I feel like I need more uninterrupted time these days too, though mine are all at school. But where to take it from, I hope you get that Kate time :-)

    ReplyDelete
  8. 2,455 emails!!!!!!!! I'd have a frickin' meltdown. I get stressed if I have more than 20 or so.

    And yes to you time. It's absolutely essential.

    ReplyDelete
  9. The only thing that I have to offer you is that after child no 3 I announced that on a saturday night I would have an uninterrupted bath. That was back in the day I didnt drink and I didnt care if there were bubbles included. Of course there were interruptions. No-one needs a mother more than one who shuts the door.
    Im not suggesting you can sew in the bath but it gives you time to order ones thoughts. When arising from said bath, you feel refreshed, whole, astute?, ready, amazingly sexy (its the bubbles), womanly, and ready to be interrupted (not joking), ready to read stories late into the night, ready to give yourself the time you need. x

    ReplyDelete
  10. You're absolutely right, if we all had a little time to ourselves everyone would benefit..so why are we so bad at making that time?! My hubby always tells me to organise this or that just for me & I know it can be done, he sure would be supportive & help to make it happen but it always seems easier just to keep going. I'm gonna take a leaf out of your book, Kate, I'll keep you posted. I hope you have a beautiful weekend...and find a little you time x

    ReplyDelete
  11. it's only when you say "10 years" that it really dawns that a lot of water has passed under the bridge as far as selflessness goes.
    can't wait to hear your plans - so envious (at only year 7 ).
    great animation too :)
    have a lovely weekend

    ReplyDelete
  12. Kate the last thing you need are MORE coments BUT just had to drop you a line. 3 years ago I was doing crazy, silly hours at work whilst being a full time single parent. I had no family nearby & just did not get to stop...long story short I broke down...completely and utterly stopped....could not function in even the smallest things....family had to fly in to help me...I was forced to rest...I had to stop work (that was hard)...I had to listen to my body......now I no longer can do LOTS & LOTS of things....my mind gets tired...I get confused easily with lots of noise....and all hell breaks loose if I don't structure in me time.....lesson learnt the hard way....that 'me time' is an essential, not a nice to have...trust me.....TK xx

    ReplyDelete
  13. Good on you for making you time! I have one day a week when Ella is at day care so that is supposed to be me time, although I usually only have an hour or so left after doing shopping and cleaning etc. I am really looking forward to next year when Ella starts school so they will both be at school each day. I'll miss them, but I'm sure I'll enjoy the time I have. I hope you find a good block of time each week. xx

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have one day at home per week. Alone.No chef, no Busy. No cleaning, no cooking no domestic chores- actually I will do a load of washing or two, but really the day is mine to write blog posts and sew for chunkychooky. it is my fave day of the week.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love your animation. It reminds me of the old cardboard 3D cards that you would tilt up and down to make they move.
    I hope you get though your emails and find some proper "me time". xx

    ReplyDelete
  16. i try not to entertain the thought of me time. i might run away and never come back.

    x

    ReplyDelete
  17. I agree .... having time set aside for yourself makes it easier to be more of a giver during the other times in the week.
    Go for it and keep that time sacred (as best you can).
    Andi x

    PS Well done on the emails.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I'm no help on this, as I too just fit things in when i can. Have no family support, so we don't really have time away from the children. I get my making done whilst they eat, listening to spelling etc. And lots of late nights to get things done. I need to find some me time too, but it doesn't look like thats going to happen with the partner taking on some weekend work now! aargh...!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I can't remember the last time I had some time at home alone! I work 3 days and find that is pretty good "me" time but I'm still not doing exactly what I want to be doing and I often find myself dreaming about other things but at least it's quiet and I can finish a hot cuppa and go to the loo unaccompanied. I can't believe you've been without "me" time for a decade - time to put your foot down and do it!

    [Please delete this email once it's been read - I don't want to contribute further to your email pile!]

    ReplyDelete
  20. So important to have, and so hard to get... we'd recently done some time-rearranging at our place so I could get a scheduled few hours a week... and then playgroup times were changed to THAT EXACT TIME... grrr. So we'll be rearranging again... Hope some non-interrupted dedicated Kate time comes soon for you!

    ReplyDelete
  21. SO happy to hear some real scheduled Kate time is on the agenda.
    Much in deserved and much needed
    Sorry about the crappy day.
    xo

    ReplyDelete
  22. Good for you!! I think its so importantto take time out for ourselves, everyone benefits really and I find I always appreciatewhat I have rather than feeling a little resentful. I have been going to Zumba classes a few nights a week which is great!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I would go insane without me time. I do three things (1) I get out to a yoga based fitness class once a week (2) get out to dinner with girl friends when I can and (3) child free day to do what I want (mostly sewing of course). This keeps my neurons firing in the correct order and most importantly lifts my mood heaps. Good luck on your quest for more time to yourself, when you get into the groove of it you will wish you did it earlier!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Our family are all interstate and with 2 little ones I feel like I've been close to burnout for the last 4 years. Our solution was to host an au pair. We organised it through an agency and now have a lovely German gap year student living in our spare room. For the same cost as a few hours babysitting and a weekly cleaner we have 5 hours of help per day, 5 days a week. I've joined a gym, I have regular time off and I get to cook dinner uninterrupted. Oh and I've started my blog!
    Best of luck!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Kate, I'm hearing you loud & clear re the me time.
    Now I do have 3 days a week when my little one is at preschool & these are meant to be my sewing days BUT if those days are not super sewing organised then I tend to do the grocery shopping, washing , tidy the house, catch up with friends that I have been too busy to see etc & NO sewing. So make sure you plan your Me days to be exactly that.

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is not meant to depress but...I now have some of that 'me' time...but its taken me until my retirement!! My first 'little one' didnt leave the nest properly til he was 37 and my girl is now 39 and still lives with us...together with her partner and my grandson..So fight for those 'Kate' hours. I didn't and it was foolish. (Not that I am complaining about my lot, just regrets at all the projects I could have finished years ago)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Me time! such an important thing and overlooked by me for years. No family around to help and a husband who works long hours and travels too. But I always knew it would come some day! Now that my 3 are all at school, me time has finally happened. There's still housework, shopping etc and a busy 3.15pm till bedtime, but at some stage in the day I can now sit and be me, myself, alone. Got my eyelashes tinted for the first time on Monday - no children in the background or babysitter to feel guilty over. Bliss.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I think you are wise to do this and I hope you find something that is successful for you. Cherrie

    ReplyDelete
  29. Bloody hard work this mothering, running a house, keeping hubby happy business ;) Finding me time is even harder! I am a night owl. I find I need 2 hours from when the last one is asleep. I need to find better things to do than just veg out in front of the TV but somedays that is all I can do lol!
    Good luck my dear. And you are totally right. You need to give to yourself so you can give back :)

    And my inbox is crazy. 1984 emails, 426 unread! Ekkkkkk!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Yeah for you...I work out of the home three days, One day for house work and other must do stuff and then Fridays for me to sew/or anything I choose to do. Makes for a nicer mummy all round.

    ReplyDelete
  31. A very wise and busy business woman I know once told me what she really needed was a wife to sort all the excess stuff in her life out, but what she had was a husband, so life was always really difficult. I know how she felt. Some times I think being a mother, wife, running your own business (in my case 2!) means the only me time I get is when I go to sleep. Somethings gotta give!

    ReplyDelete
  32. I've just returned from a field trip with 52 Kindergarten children on a bus to a freezing wet pumpkin patch and farm to find the laundry water overflowed on the floor, cat vomit on the couch and we are out of tea. I'll have to get back to you about the "me" time.
    Good going on the emails!

    ReplyDelete
  33. I think when my kids were smaller, like yours that Me-time was almost impossible to get - in fact there was no sheduled me time at all. Now, they are bigger and more independant and I have a job, BUT I do not work on Fridays -and I do not have the day off work to clean the house or do the washing or anything !
    Friday is me time !!!!

    I hope you find some time for you kate

    ReplyDelete
  34. all my kids are at school now so i have moments in the day that are dedicated to me.
    recently david and i had two nights away on our own which were absolutely wonderful but even now i have to tell myself, or convince myself that it was okay to do it. for some reason i feel that a good mother is always there for her children and never puts her needs first. why do i feel this way? i'm not sure - because honestly, i don't believe it is true. in my case i have had moments of feeling resentful because i am always here - and that's not a good thing. so good luck with finding your 'me' time - i think it's very much deserved!
    l
    x

    ReplyDelete
  35. Oh, Kate, with 3 children under 5, I hear you. I've ended up with severe PND after not taking any time out. That's what my blog is all about. In fact, blogging has become very important in carving out that 'me time'. My husband is very supportive as he realises how important it is for me to 'connect' with likeminded people like you who are juggling motherhood and busy lives. Feel free to drop by my blog if you want to be reminded that you're not alone! J x

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hi Kate - excellent to hear that you're determined to put the time aside! It's so important for everyone in the end ..... happy mama - happy everyone! I've been doing pilates class once a week and feel very rejuvinated for it. Also dinner with some girlfriends once a month after the munchkins are in bed ...... and if I can get to it - Knitting at Purls once a month - ohhhhh and there's a certain craft night I've been hanging to get to....... Determined! Wishing you some wonderful Kate time to come! Mika x

    ReplyDelete
  37. Just delete all those e-mails. If they are really important they'll contact you again. There's a couple of hours spare already.
    I so knowing how you feel.
    co habitants have left for the weekend and all i want to do is sleep but have a million things to do.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Me time is essential for my mental health. And I am a much better person when I come back to my family after some me time.

    My me time? Three or four craft weekends a year. And as I keep saying to you, you're coming to at least one next year, ok?

    ps. Don't reply to this. You have enough emails to cope with. I never manage to reply to all my blog comments, but I refuse to feel guilt and hope that if I share the replying around differently each week, my readers will understand.

    x

    ReplyDelete
  39. HI Kate- like TK up there I was so busy being busy about 15 years ago that my body collapsed and has never been the same since. The past two years or so I have spent some energy working on the fallout of that (okay, read: 'therapy'!!) and the upshot is (not really the upshot, but one outcome) that I am 'running away' to Chicago in 5 weeks, for 3 weeks. Unheard of for the worrying control freak but it will be good for everyone- I sincerely reckon that. NOt suggesting at all it's for anyone else, but it's definitely a good thing for the 'me' in me at the moment- and, therefore, like you say, good for those around me.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Wow Kate that is my day today...frustration! I know just what you mean, I too sew in stolen moments, feed family, sew, load of washing, sew,clean up,sew...you get the picture, I've had enough today! Your post is just what I needed to read to know I am not alone as I to try and find some 'me' time to fully complete a progect.....thank you!! Eleesa

    ReplyDelete
  41. Well said and I totally agree with you. I long for more me time. I also think it's so important for children to have some time away from their mama. I hope you get some kate time soon, without urgent interruptions, I hope I do too!! Great image by the way.x

    ReplyDelete
  42. oohhh Kate, it's way too long for you, 10 years. I only have to think about 5 years so even though it does seem impossible to have me time I know that they won't really need me for too long 100% of the time.
    Amelie will be at prep next year & I get to spend some time with Aidan before he goes to kinder.
    I don't get me time, no one looks after them & I always hang out with at least one of them. I only have the two so it seems a little easier, but I love hanging out with them most of the time.
    I don't do many markets now so it is actually a little easier to handle, whereas when I get very busy then it is just too overwhelming.
    i hope you get some quality time to yourself soon & you will definitely feel much better for it.
    hugs to you

    ReplyDelete
  43. Ahhh... me time! It is SO important. Take care of yourself Kate and then you can take care of others.

    ReplyDelete
  44. How I love reading your blog and it is a little nice to know you are a real persons with the real battles of children and me time. My daughter is at school and my son goes to preschool two days a week and how I love to do things without them both!

    ReplyDelete
  45. I KNOW that I am a better mum when I get some time away and especially some creative time. I actually started sewing again after nearly 20 years when my last born turned 6 months as I was crawling the walls with 3 kids under 5 and no "me" time. So important for your sanity and your feelings of well being to be you and not just mum. Now hubby and I just have to find out how to squeeze in a bit of "we" time too...

    ReplyDelete
  46. I'm very (VERY) far behind with blog reading at the moment, so at risk of going over rather old ground...

    Me time is so essential right now. Snatched moments are rare and never long enough to be satisfying! We've renegotiated 3 hours of me-time on the weekends (theoretically unbroken but E sometimes doesn't agree!!), and I generally haven't felt too guilty so far. I guess it's so essential to my sanity and positive mothering (as opposed to shrew-like mothering) that I feel way more guilty without it. I think ALL mothers need me-time. A couple of hours a week of self-focussed time each week makes it so much easier to be child/partner/other focussed for the rest of the week!

    ReplyDelete
  47. But like all computer books, this one suffers from the inevitable problem of
    becoming rapidly outdated. Upload an image of the website to a web page and
    send the client the link. Your objectives and goals for your business are meant.


    my blog recent web design articles

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for stopping by...

I do read every single comment you leave and appreciate it very much, but I should let you know that I can be a wee bit on the useless side when replying to comments, that's just me, everyday life sometimes gets in the way....so I'll apologise now, just in case.

Kate XX

Visit my other blog.