on seeds and words

A few days ago I bumped into a dear friend at pick up time at school. It was a bit windy and I blurted out how frustrated I was that I had all this writing to do and couldn't seem to do it. Physically I was having a very difficult time sitting still long enough to write more than a couple of sentences and then when I finally did, the words just wouldn't flow. I told her I was worried I couldn't do it anymore, that I'd left it too long and now it was gone.

She laughed and saw right through me as only a good friend can. She told me that from what she could see, I am just deep in farmer Kate mode at the moment. That I am wearing my overalls as a uniform. That I am slashing and planting and weeding and watching and irrigating and mulching and planning. That maybe being so intensely engaged in one means that there's not quite so much room for the other.



And she's right too of course. After three months away from this place we've returned just in time for the spring explosion. I'm seeing everything as if for the first time. I'm making lists a mile long of all the veggies I want to plant. And slowly I'm planting them, labelling them and watering them.



I'm celebrating all the little leaves that have poked their heads up through the soil since we've been home. Hello!! Welcome!!



And even though we are behind this year, I feel like I'm loving it more than I have for a while. And I'm seeing it with fresh eyes and I'm noticing all the details. Grow little babies grow.



Before we left I would sit in the orchard waiting for the kettle to boil and notice all the work that needed to be done. Now we're home I am more interested in the feel of the warm breeze on my cheeks, the tiny bird with a yellow mask across its face, the path the bees take from one blossom to the next, the way the fruit is setting on varieties that aren't always so bountiful, the scratchiness of the bits of straw stuck inside my bra, the way my farmer boy runs his fingers along a piece of wood imagining the spoon that could be, that my new kettle is slowly being charred black from use...



And when we're not working out on the farm, it's a pleasure to be using our own freshly picked produce in the kitchen. That was the thing I found most difficult while we were away and now we are home eating what we've grown makes me happier than any European meal ever could.



And we've started a new starter, Steve. Baking bread feels like such a good measure of a kitchen's health I think. At the moment we're still feeding, smelling and admiring Steve's bubbles, but soon we'll be back to kneading and shaping and baking fresh loaves each day and I can't wait.



In the end, after giving it a bit of thought and realising that my friend's words were true, I decided I needed to find a way to trick my system. Farmer Kate is great but writer Kate still has deadlines and responsibilities. So yesterday morning, for the first time in the three weeks since we've been home, I got dressed in town clothes. I wore a dress, tights and clogs and wore my hair out, very unfarmy. Then after I got home from school I sat up at the computer. I brainstormed a page full of sentences and then fitted them into a story. Then I did it again. And then I submitted my stories, changed into my overalls and went out to water my seedlings. Ahhhhhhhh...

I love my life as a farmer and I love that I get to write about it too. I feel relieved that I can still do both. But I think I might need to carve out a bit of regular time for my writing though so it's not quite so hard next time. Maybe a morning a week? Maybe two?

In the meantime I'm going to go and hang out the laundry and then sit outside in the sun and cast on another pair of socks.

Then we're going to Melbourne for a party!

Have you got something fun planned for this weekend?
Do you make time for all the different parts of your world?
I wonder.

xoxo

Yellow socks ravelled here.

from where i'm meant to be

It's late Saturday morning, my farmer boy is off taking the smalls to their friends' houses and I'm in bed with my big girl. She's doing homework, analysing a song abut mental illness, and I'm looking at photos, doing rows of my knitting and now I'm writing this. I feel a bit guilty that I'm not hanging out the laundry, I'm not heading down the the orchard to do some more mowing and I'm not planting more seeds in the garden, but it's Saturday and it feels good to be taking it slowly and besides, I like keeping Miss Indi company while she does what she has to do.

We've been home for two weeks, life has clicked into its usual crazy spring gear and the days are spinning by while we madly try to fit as much into them as we possibly can.

This week we celebrated our apple blossom princess with pancakes, a picnic in the orchard, a family dinner and a hand knitted circlet (details here). Twelve!! I just can't believe it. And then again I totally can.



This week we started filling every pot we could find with compost and seeds.



This week we spring cleaned the hot house and the kitchen garden to house those precious pots of seeds and celebrated when they started popping their little green heads up to salute the sun.



This week we made pretzels for the first time ever. I think we were more excited about the cute pretzel shape than anything else, but they were delicious.



This week we remembered what it's like to suffer from freezing feet on concrete floors, so I whipped up a pair of simple house slippers for my farmer boy. Simple, easy, quick, warm. I think I need a pair too. (details here).



This week the Daphne started fading, dropping her flowers and farewelling us with the last of her intoxicating fragrance. I feel ever so grateful that she was in full bloom to greet us on our homecoming two weeks ago, filling our noses with sweetness and reminding us of just how much there is to love about home and spring.



This week we watched hungrily as other blossoms opened up and showed off their incredible beauty. Coming home from walks around the farm with arm loads of peonies and camellias and Waratahs and  plum blossom, and pear blossom, and apple blossom, oh my!!



And this week we've spent hours and hours in the blossoming orchards slashing and mowing. Now all that's left is a spray of 500, a generous arm full of mulch around each trunk, and a couple of rugs and a picnic I think.

I feel like over the past week I really settled back home. My jet lag sorted itself out, I stopped coughing and I worked really hard on the farm and loved it.

People ask me all the time what I plan to do now that we are home. One day last week I ran out of petrol on the whipper-snipper in the orchard and looked up and felt this overwhelming sense of being exactly where I needed to be. I felt full to bursting. I love what we are doing here, I love that I work alongside farmer Bren and the girls, and I love that spring is leading our way, making our to-do lists and rewarding us with sunshine and bees and blossom. I love that we are growing food with love and integrity and girls with the same. I love that we are questioning, making decisions, enjoying and loving. And I love that I have grass stains on my knees, dirt under my fingernails and scratches on my arms.

This is what I am doing now that we are home. Exactly this.


I hope your weekend is filled with the sweet songs of birds out your windows.

So much love,

Kate

xoxox

all over the place

I feel like I'm a bit all over the place at the moment.

It's school holidays and my girlies have been chatting to me all day long. And singing to me and telling me to look at them and asking me what's for dinner. In between, I'm doing bits of publicity for my book and trying to sound like I make sense and have a clean house and clean kidlets. I'm also cold, always. I'm trying to organise a cute little event or two. I'm returning emails. I'm designing a poster to sell more of our chookies.

And I'm crafting. A little. In between the other stuff and sometimes, sneakily, at the same time.

I'm knitting a beanie for my Mum.

A few weeks ago I was having a really crappy day. I think it was this day. In the middle of it all my sister Meg called. We talked and I cried. Then later on we texted back and forth and I cried. And then finally she sent me this text message;

What you are going through on all fronts sounds huge. But a bad day is just a bad day. And a bad decision is just a bad decision. And a bad mood is just a bad mood. Being alive is about having a full human experience. The great and the crapola. So go easy on yourself. And really, you should be focusing on a genuine catastrophe: Mum's purple beanie. xx

She was right of course. So I am.

Actually while I think of it, Meg and her family are going away for a year and renting out their house. Have you always dreamed of living in Daylesford for a year? How cool would that be?! Check out the details and photos here.

I've also been knitting this teeny, tiny onesie for baby Lola. Well actually I've just finished the knitting part and now I have to block it and sew on the buttons.

It's crazy cute and little and although I have really come to terms with the no more baby thing, it did make me wobble.

I've been cutting and stitching and turning the right way out and pressing and stitching bunting. Lots of bunting. To be hung in windows of book shops selling my book.

My book. Eeeeeeep!! Some advanced copies arrived this morning. I'll show you some sneak peeks in the next few days. You can pre-oreder it now you know. Just click on this link and it will take you there.

#Ohmygoodnessme.

And I've been baking a bit. The wood oven is on 24/7 so I may as well. The old faves are working well but I really should get a bit more adventurous. I think I should make olive bread. I think I will. Tomorrow.

I think right now though, the best thing to do would be to go and have a hot bath and listen to a podcast. Yep, I think I will.

What a rambley old post. I think it pretty much sums up the way I'm feeling though.

How are you feeling?
What are you making?
Are you cold or hot?
Do you like listening to pod casts in the bath? Any recommendations?

Bye xx

Two days

Hooray for the weekend!!

I'm so excited. It's no secret that I had a bit of a crappy few days at the end of last week. I really did. Overemotional, sad, lost, empty...

This weekend feels a bit like a reward for getting through it. My light at the end of the back-to-school tunnel.

And I have big plans for this weekend.

I plan to clock up some hours on the crochet hook. My book deadline is in sight and that means so is the end of the book blanket. I bought a knitting magazine today, I think I'm getting ready to sew in the ends and move on.

I plan to watch these guys and their millions of green buddies and hope that the past few freeeeeeezing cold days have panicked them into thinking it's almost autumn and that they had better ripen their seeds quickly.

I plan to do a spot of treasure hunting. My farmer boy is threatening to send me to garage sale rehab, but  I think that a little bit of thrifting here and there keeps me sane.

 I plan to make pesto. And eat pesto. On everything. Mmmmmm summer.

I plan to enjoy the fruits of my past few days of baking frenzy. Farmer Bren called it nesting the other day, but the sad thing is that it was really empty nesting. They went to school and I baked. Sob!

I plan to admire these gorgeous avos we got in the mail from here. They're so fresh that they're not even ripe yet, but they sure are gorgeous.

And lastly, but firstly, I plan to spend so much time with my girlies. We've got two whole days with them and I don't plan to let them out of my sight.

There you go, that's my weekend all planned out.
I hope it goes oh so slowly.
I really need it to.

So how are you?
What have you got planned for your end of week days?
Are you making or baking or growing or sewing?

Later lovelies.
Lotsa love.
xx

what we've been up to X six

One

We've been letting the garden decide what we eat.

Lots of salads, freshly dug potatoes, baby beets, pestos, plum cakes, pullet eggs, berry sorbets...still no red tomatoes though.

Two

We've been heading out after dinner to turn pumps and sprinklers and taps off.

As the sun slowly sets over the hill, the temperature drops a bit and it's the perfect time to explore, to throw rocks in the dry creek bed, to catch naughty runaway dogs, to pick berries and carrots, to swing under the big Blackwood tree and to feel a bit wild and free and crazy.

Three

We've been starting to think about our trip to Israel this year.

The sights, the smells, the tastes and the culture. I thought cooking our way through Jerusalem might be a good way to prepare the girls. We started with the Krantz cakes the other day, deeeeeeeeeeeeeelicious!

Four

We've been gathering bucket loads of seed off the blackwood trees to regrow and replant and make wind breaks and reforest this place. There is something very wonderful about collecting seeds and growing plants from them. Magical. Sustainable.

Five

We celebrated wonderful behaviour and filled sticker charts with a trip to the water slides with friends. Every single time I saw my girls yesterday they giggled excitedly at what a brilliant time they were having. And they totally deserved it. I am such a fan of the reward chart. I wonder if it's too early to start new ones.

Six

And I've been making and photographing. Now that I've pretty much finished with the words for my book, I'm on to the making it pretty bit. I'm writing lists, collecting ingredients, making stuff, setting up scenes and photographing it all. It's scary and overwhelming and exciting and fun. I wish I knew more, had more time and owned some vintage suitcases.

So there's my second last Tuesday of the summer holidays six.
What're yours?
Care to share?

Later potata
xx

My 'what makes me happy' to-do list.

Hello day before summer and very last day of November!!

What a crazy time of year you are.

I don't know about you, but I'm finding my days are disappearing in a sea of pick ups and drop offs, final this and preparing for that, make lots of this and rehearse for that. There's costumes and projects, and food shares and transitions and meetings and excursions and parties and inspections and reports and dead-lines and concerts and dances and assemblies...and there are three, tired, fragile children.

Yesterday I drove in and out of town nine times!!!!

And so being the disorganised person that I am, I've often found myself feeling like I am drowning. Overwhelmed and out of control. And that all the stuff I love doing, the stuff that makes me-me, gets stuck right down the bottom of the list.

So this morning, when I stepped back into my house after the first drop off of the day, and I contemplated the mess that needed sorting out and the list of housey chores that needed attending to, I decided to make myself a what makes me happy to-do list.

On that list I wrote things that I love doing, but that aren't exactly priorities. My happy stuff. The stuff that makes me feel passionate and inspires me.

I'm hoping that having this list will keep me more focused and motivated and on task. If I hang and fold all the laundry, then maybe I can do something for a little while that I love, like crochet a coaster or plant out some of the basil.

Like make a new type of bread or sew a dress.

Like thin out the lettuces or sew some bunting.

Like soaking and blocking my just cast off cardigan.

Like taking photos and writing a blog...

And you know what? It might seem small but for now I feel like writing that list has made all the difference to my day. I feel like the shoulds will be more doable if there are some loves in amongst them.

Oh after a bit of contemplation, I just deleted all the games off my phone too. I reckon I could have crocheted an entire blanket in the time I've been wasting lately.

OK here I go, off to tackle the kitchen with my rewards well in sight.

I hope you have the most fabulous weekend.

But before you go, I'd love to know a few of the things that would make it onto your what makes me happy to-do list.

Bye! xx

Following my Friday...

Most Fridays I have a chunk of time where I am all by myself. Alone! The girls are out and away, farmer Bren is off being a farmer somewhere and I have the house all to myself. It's quiet. I can think.

Sometimes I have something urgent to attend to and get stuck straight into it, but most Fridays when I come back home after drop off into a quiet house, I notice the luxury of a few hours of time stetching ahead of me. And that time feels like opportunities. It feel precious.

Time to spend as I choose. Time to think thoughts all the way through. Time to start, comtinue or finish things. And time to breath.

I love Fridays. I feel like they prepare me for the craziness of the weekend ahead and give me time to do what I want to do. Fridays feel like a luxury.

This morning after I came home and put the breakfast dishes away and a load of washing on, I walked around slowly contemplating my day. I could do so many things...

I could could attend to that pile of fabric scraps that have been calling out to me all week. I could draw a pattern on them, cut them out, and stitch them back together again into some bunting, or a quilt, or some curtains or a dress...

I could spend some time in the kitchen garden weeding and watering and thinning and planting....

I could sit down and knit a few rows of the second sleeve of my red cardi. I am so close to the end now and I just want to wear it...

I could plant some of these guys in the poly tunnel and some down in the market garden....

I could write. Oh I have so much I need to write...

I could rush around and vacuum and sweep and mop and launder my house and make it look all gorgeous and sparkly for the weekend.

Or I could make a cup of tea and stop for a while and smell the roses. Roses my gang gave me for mothers' day this year. Roses from rose bushes that are the only non edible, not useful, just pretty, things we have ever planted on our farm....

Or I could bake some bread...spelt and wholemeal and rye...maybe...

Or I could sit down and load some photos and write a blog about all the things I might do, I could do, I want to do...and then I can decide...

But whatever I choose to do I'd better get to it quickly because these monkeys of mine will be home with all their fun and chaos before I know it. My quiet Friday will be over for another week...

And as I am about to press publish I can hear my washing machine beeping at me telling me to hang out it's load. Maybe I'll just let my day lead me where ever it wants me to go...maybe...


Are you leading your day or are you following it around?
Are you sewing or cooking or cleaning or gardening?
What are you up to?
Are you happy?
Is the sun shinning over there?

I hope you have the most fabulous weekend.
Ours is a bit hectic but should be lots of fun.

See ya's! xx