Which ever way you look at it, today was an awful day.
I cried and cried and cried. Little things, big thing, medium sized things...it didn't matter, it was all too much.
The Jazzy middle child stuff.
The painful cold.
The mice eating our carrots.
The question of success.
Expectations that can never be met.
The 12 year old stuff that I can't talk about here. She is online, her friends are online and because it just doesn't seem right anymore.
The sad news that two friends are separating.
The fact that Miss Pepper is so divine and delicious and happy, like a gift, but that I know this wont last forever.
The thought of the home photo shoot this time next week. My house looks like a bomb site, I'm barely exaggerating and I don't know where to start.
The sorest lower back.
The end of an organic era.
Old age.
A bite.
The longest list.
Not winning at anything lately.
I could go on and on. And on and on.
When they got home from school, we bundled them into their jackets and hats and boots. We fed them carrots straight out of the ground and we started walking. Out the back gate, along the old railway, down the hill, by the for-sale dam, through the blackberry bit and home across the back paddock.
The air was icy cold and exhilarating. It felt like an adventure. It felt like fun. It felt like we all needed exactly that. To laugh and to chatter and to pretend to be old ladies, and to sing and to take big breaths of air right down into our bellies and to hug trees and to get snagged on blackberries and to forget all the day's stuff. To leave it at home.
It felt like there was only us in the world.
Later on at dinner, going around the table with our favourite parts of the day, every single one of the five of us said it was the walk. The walk was the winner.
The happiest end to the crappiest day.
xx
Beautiful honest words Kate. This stuff is far from easy. But, I am a huge believer in getting out on the farm, looking at the incredible scenery that surrounds us and forgetting about the house and school and all the other stuff. It provides a little perspective...for those precious moments anyway. This super moon wont last forever x
ReplyDeleteSometimes a walk at the end of the day can really change your whole day. I think we had similar days and a walk before dinner has definitely changed my mood and the whole house is a little happier.
ReplyDeleteLots of love - take the win - let it be a springboard for less crap.
ReplyDeleteSorry you've had a crap day but I'm glad you found a light at the end of it. I hope tomorrow is better.
ReplyDeleteSometimes stuff just gets you down. And lovely family times can get you back up. Who knows why sometimes all is glum? hormones? Lethargy? Tiredness? Your walk looks lovely. All those puffer jackets! So squeezy! At least today is over... Enjoy tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteOh no! I hope tomorrow brings new light and warmth! Your family are so gorgeous in their puffy jackets - must be the healing big tree hugs !!
ReplyDeleteLauren
XXX
There are good days and bad days, I try to knit through the bad days! Hope things pick up next week - your photo shoot sounds exciting, try and zone in on that. Jo x
ReplyDeletehttp://joeveryday19.blogspot.co.uk
Thank you so much for the honesty. It is hard to just get through some days and we need to talk about it. If only to be heard and to give voice tot hose who are not.
ReplyDeleteI'm so gour your walk turned things around a little, wishing you better days to come...
I've read similar this week from the northern UK, the southernmost tip of South Africa, the US, and it is how I feel. Might it be the super moon and change of season and stance of the sun that's kicking us all around?
ReplyDeleteHold out for tomorrow :-)
It looks cold there on your farm. Lovely jackets.
God life sucks a big one sometimes. Just because it does. Tomorrow it might be better and even if its not, at least you can always go for a walk. The most important thing. x
ReplyDeleteI'm not in farming but I do have similar worries.
ReplyDeleteMy littlest growing up and there being no more littlests. My eldest not enjoying college...what will happen,
Middlest starting to 'hang out' with mates and me worrying.
I have BBC visiting my home on Wednesday and I feel it is nowhere near ready.
I have 3 boys, it makes no odds.
You sometimes have to think logical,y and put things into boxes (mentally of course).
I hope you are feeling a bit more chipper today xxx
I wish I'd had the walk.... You are so not alone on the crappy day thing, Kate, and good on you for turning it around. Much love to you. xx
ReplyDeleteI love that it was the walk and not some computer game that made things better!
ReplyDeleteWalking makes everything feel better- easier- less oppressive! Hope today is better!
ReplyDeleteKate... even your "tough day" posts are heartwarming and encouraging. Thanks for the honesty.... June 24th continues here for hours yet - it's only 4.20pm on a damp, ridiculously cool "summer" day in Nothern Ireland. But that means there's still time to turn it round then.
ReplyDeleteSometimes just getting out there in the great outdoors and spending time together is exactly what is needed.
ReplyDeleteHope today has been a better day.
Helenxx
I hope the rest of the week is kinder to you. I wrote a post last week about teens and technology. It is an ongoing debate in our house xo
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that you had such a crap day. I'm pleased about your honesty in writing about it. I think it's really easy, for me anyway, with my 'pants right now' life, to fall utterly in love with your life and think it's the life for me. And I am the prototype city kid! But when I fall in love with your life, and the life of other bloggers, I crazily think bloggers have it all sussed and why have I made so many mistakes?! I haven't, I'm just human; and your honesty shows you're human and we all have to deal with difficult stuff which sometimes seems to form a long queue at the front door. Right now it's coming to the end of my Monday and you're about to start your Tuesday which I hope is a whole lot better.
ReplyDeleteMsZeb X
I looked at your pictures with my usual envy for your lifestyle, then when I got to the text I just thought 'oh no, not you too!' I guess we all have our struggles, I'm just happy that you managed to end the day in a positive way.
ReplyDeletecheers Kate
The hats are lovely and it is usually PMS with me when I am in one of those emotional moods.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes to you, I'm sure things will improve & especially don't worry about the photos shoot - they know how to crop, angle & edit to capture the beauty that you see around you every day.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great way to forget about everything going on and recharge together! I hope you are having a better day today.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you have had one of 'those' days, but what joy to be able to end it with a memorable walk and a beautiful family meal together! I hope the new day will improve for you, that you look at the house and realise it isn't a bomb, just well lived in and that the good outweighs the bad!
ReplyDeleteA bit of fresh air and family is so good for the soul. xo thanks for your honesty, as always.
ReplyDeletesome days are just crap, and that's ok, it's life, no point battling against it.
ReplyDeleteI hope that today was a better day than yesterday :)
ReplyDeleteWarm and happy wishes to you from Yackandandah. Say the name a few times over fast and it'll put a smile on your face, I reckon!
ReplyDeleteI too shall blame the super moon for my super crappy feeling right now!
ReplyDeleteSometimes the crappy stuff just weighs us down. I guess it can't be rainbows & cartwheels everyday...I'm glad you all got some goodness in your day xx
Aw mate x
ReplyDeleteI think we can all relate to having a day like that and tears. Glad the walk took your family away for some quality time. Regards KathyA, Brisbane, Australia
ReplyDeletei think there are quite a few days like this after your littlest goes to school. the supposed freedom and what to do with it. lots of creative possibilities but where to go and what to do. while still looking afetr the family and contributing. Everyone appears to be more creative and better connected. several of the IGers i have met are going through the same.. the farm is lovely and you certainly make the most of it.Your lovely book will be out soon and I am positive another whole world of possibilties will open for you.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful post. There's nothing like a walk to make you feel better about all the crappy stuff. Hope tomorrow is a better day. xK
ReplyDeleteTe entiendo Kate! Mi fin de semana fue agotador. Problemas domésticos , chicos caprichosos y marido cansado. Demasiado!!! Pero de pronto vez la carita iluminada de tu hija y nada de eso importa ya. Ellos son lo importante. Ni el dolor de cintura ni la casa hecha desastre. Es que lo urgente y cotidiano no deja espacio para lo importante!! Pero todavía podemos verlo así que no todo esta perdido!! buena semana!!!
ReplyDeleteSo glad to read this. I have also gone nutty with the full moon. And walking in the freezing morning air with my little girl, seems to be the most joyful as well.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear of a crappy day. I hope the rest of your week is as refreshing and invigorating as your cold weather walk.
ReplyDeleteLove to you across the interwebs, beautiful. Here's to carrots! (Eaten by us, not rodents.) xxx
ReplyDeleteI wish I lived round the corner to u, then I would come and do your housework for you! (This is my anal, accounting side coming out......!!!!!) Hope ur feeling a bit better today? Xxx
ReplyDeletePs don't blame it on the moonlight, blame it on the boogie....
ReplyDeletelove those pictures ... they make me miss the bush!
ReplyDeleteImagine for a moment Kate, if you kept all those feelings pent up inside you. You were feeling so lousey I know, but imagine that you bottled it, how you'd burst when it all came out. Life is such a windy round isn't it. It seems that we're blissful and then everything turns upside down and is almost too much, but amazingly it turns around and you're past it all. I think you're amazing and have to much to be thankful for. That doesn't make the crappy days or weeks easier, but you (to me) appear to have any amazing ability to shake yourself out of things, really you do. If life were a barometer you would have been at dark and stormy but generally you're up there registering at almost perfect conditions. I like to think that we only really appreciate how lucky we are when we feel a bit shitty, it's just not normal to be super chirpy and happy all the time!
ReplyDeletehope you are okay Kate, the online thing is interesting - our girl is 13 almost 14, happy to chat about it privately with you xxx Rach
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